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Bert the Ogre


Few ogres live the life of luxury Bert has earned as
bodyguard to Guilder Kailen. But then, few ogres can
spell their own names, remember to duck when entering
a building, and feel okay about not raping and
pillaging each new town visited. 

Decked in jewelry and fine clothes, Bert looks more
like an ugly but well dressed man-servant than a
hulking creature who breaks legs, but he is capable of
being both. Standing over seven feet tall, his
muscular bulk, thick accent, yellowish skin and brown
eyes are typical of his race. But his superb memory
and quick wit are not. Bert rarely forgets a face or a
word, and has been known to recite entire
conversations, including remarkably accurate vocal
imitations, at the request of his employer. Of course,
Guilder also employs Bert because he swings a large
mace very well, and punches holes through stout walls.

Most of the locals in Thall have begun to tolerate,
and even accept the ogre, but all give him a wide
berth. For his part, Bert is oblivious to stares and
outbursts. Once, when repeatedly insulted by a drunken
lout at an inn, one of Guilder’s clients asked the
ogre why he didn’t just break the man’s jaw to shut
him up. Bert replied, "I get paid well enough to
ignore ‘em. Unless Da Boss pays me to hurt ‘em, there
ain’t no profit in it."